36epm:

Shoutout to Percy Jackson for being a kids book that straight up murdered the abusive step dad instead of doing some bullshit redemption arc where they have to forgive him

generalgrievousdatingsim:

only if you’re open to the possibility of falling madly in love with me

notcooltate:

If you ever get your gothic mansion can I come and haunt you

generalgrievousdatingsim:

every moment i am not living in an old, most likely haunted gothic mansion with a secret passage hidden behind one of the bookcases is a moment poorly spent

rainbow-femme:

So obviously the things that happened to Henry VIII’s wives was terrible, but you’ve gotta admit there’s a level of cosmic hilarity to it.

Like this guy’s older brother dies when he’s a kid so his whole life he knows how important it is to have many male heirs.

He marries his first wife and she gives him a daughter and no living sons. He divorces her for a younger wife who gives him a daughter and no living sons. He beheads her for a wife who dies giving him a son. He can’t get it up for his next wife so he divorces her. His next cheats on him before giving him sons so he beheads her. He then marries again and then dies before getting a son.

Then! His only son dies at 15. His oldest daughter takes over and she devotes her reign to dismantling the years of religious changes he made. His other daughter, who he had declared illegitimate for a while, then becomes the most powerful and successful sole queen and ruler of England the country ever had without ever ruling next to a man.

If someone never heard the story and you told them Shakespeare wrote it as a companion piece to his other historical posts they’d believe you.

pyreo:

egberts:

cannedtins:

scientist 1: we have succesfully cloned mew, what shall we name it

scientist 2:

op naming the second scientist

lovingrot:

seeing a lot of white people and i just have to say

lovingrot:

hey white leftists

belowtherust:

For those who have never heard J.R.R. Tolkien sing, voilà!

“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!” sung by the legend himself.

hypotheticalwoman:

taako-waititi:

“your au isn’t completely canon compliant” 

canon is but the sandbox in which i strike lightning to form glass. trouble me no more with your quibblings and quorums, lest i grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. avast, foul fiend

If it was completely canon compliant it would be canon you noodle

thepleasuregoblin:

famderfries:

thepleasuregoblin:

Me: wears a slightly tight shirt

My brain: you look like this

I actually watched that movie only two days ago

That’s great man.

littlemissonewhoisall:

Why is this so accurate

petxrparkour:

choose your fighter

saheeli-rai:

xtec:

me finding out my mutual is one inch taller than me

Put your height in the tags

writer-jessicac:

quasi-normalcy:

rude-even-post-mortem:

Me, a writer: *has an good idea for a story/fanfic*

Also me: “I wish somebody would write that.”

The great tragedy of being a writer is that you never really get to be the audience for the stories that you’ve always wanted to read.

This is the most real struggle I’ve ever heard about being a writer.

I don’t want to write this book.

I want to read it and fall in love with it.

brxnd–nxw:

me, finally getting a chance to say something I’ve thought about for twelve days straight: oh, hey, that reminds me, funny thing, this just came to mind but

laughingsquid:

Inigo Montoya’s Guide to Networking Success